Shark Bait, Ooo ha ha

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But when you call me baby, I know I’m not the only one

im-not-a-climbing-frame:

kristyjacobo:

Forever reblogging this.

And the fact that there’s more than one company means several people called makes it even better.

(Source: theclearlydope, via integratedminds)

darkoverord:

tobuscus:

AND WHAT!?!

and a nervous breakdown in aisle 11

Reblog if it is 104% okay to come to your ask and just say ‘Hi can we be friend’s and then start asking you random questions.

(Source: gxylien, via integratedminds)

night-book:

U go gurl.

Real talk

forestnymph0:

boredandmoist:

This time last year I was unemployed, broke, and suicidal.

Today, I just got the keys to my first house.

Give it time.

Thank you. I needed this today.

(via integratedminds)

Anyone wanna come kidnap me in Michigan? I can pay for gas. Im about ready to one by one start drowning family members; children come first.

king-of-roses:


A handy guide for anyone not familiar

romanimp:

romanimp:

Some of the best alpine/woodland military camo is developed by the Swiss, but most of the rest of the world refuse to use it because it has pink and red splotches on it, making it look “unmanly.”

Honestly if you’d prefer to risk it for the sake of looking “manly” then you deserve to get shot. 

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"That couldn’t possibly work, Roman! Alpenflage is dumb and you’re dumb!”

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DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT PLAY “WHERE’S WALDO” WITH THE SWISS

YOU WILL LOSE

(via spoken-not-written)

faux-paus:

First message I got within 10 minutes of signing up to tinder. What a classic 

dovvnload:

My parents believe that I’m the only teenager that: is lazy, stays up late, has a messy room, is constantly emitting high energy gamma rays & levitates in midair while chanting in an unknown language

(via noordsouza)

Evil Asks. - These are pretty fucking interesting

A. If you could get away with one murder in your lifetime without any legal, social, or emotional repercussions, would you kill someone?
B. What is your first thought when you receive a message on Tumblr, are you excited for the idea of someone from potentially the other side of the world wanting to talk to you or fearful that someone will criticize you?
C. Have you ever looked down on someone because you thought your religious views were superior?
D. Would you rather know everything the universe has to offer but in exchange lose all emotions or remain the way you are now?
E. If you could live and be healthy without sleeping or eating/drinking, which would you cut out of your life?
F. If you could take on the exact body and form of anyone else on Earth, who would it be?
G. Would you rather burn or freeze to death?
H. If it meant it would solve all world hunger, war, disease and bigotry, would you spend the rest of eternity in Hell?
I. Was the first crush in your life something you had or something someone had on you?
J. Could you live without having sex ever (again) in exchange for eternal youth?
K. Have you ever watched a full length pornographic movie?
L. The Beatles or The Rolling Stones?
M. If you could have the ability to manipulate matter or energy, which would you choose?
N. What was the worst nightmare you ever had?
O. Would you rather spend one year with your one true love just to never see them again or the rest of your life with second best?
P. All the sequels/remakes/adaptations/rip-offs in movies nowadays, good or bad?
Q. Would you rather be dirt poor and emotionally fulfilled in life or be rich beyond imagination and emotionally dissatisfied for life?
R. Do you have any (secret) feelings of bigotry to any group of people?
S. Would you rather be the only person in the world that can read minds or have everyone else in the world be able to read minds except for your own?
T. If everyone in the world would automatically only know one language, which language would you choose?
U. If you were old enough and not in a situation where it would be inappropriate, would you sleep with one of your (past) school teachers/professors?
V. A world without religion, good, bad, neutral?
W. The men's rights movement, legitimate cause or laughable, and why?
X. You can eliminate one of your five senses to substantially strengthen the others, which one and would you do it?
Y. Do looks mean anything to you? Don't lie, could you fall in love with someone you thought was ugly?
Z. Can you understand the mindset and logic used by the opposite spiritual opinion? An atheist understanding the belief in a higher power and vice versa.

iwokeuplike-ugh:

bricesander:

Nicole Richie filling out an online dating profile for her friend Erin. 

LMAO. I love Nicole’s show

(via noordsouza)

Europeans: I drove forty minutes to the Netherlands for some groceries and then I popped into Germany to see some of my relatives before driving back home.
Americans: I was in Florida, I drove for nine hours, now I'm still in Florida.

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(Source: kanrose, via noordsouza)